( WISHLIST-GCs )




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i miss it i miss it i miss it i miss it. a little under my skin.

if you get a lobotomy are you still the same person? if you take mind-altering drugs are you still the same person? if you inject heroin, binge on alcohol, take prozac, xanax and a whole range of psychiatric medication, drink coffee, smoke cigarettes, read herodotus, listen to obama's speeches, date a cat, crash a car, break a heart, write suicide notes, burn your diary, swim with sharks, hunt down errant muffins, design record sleeves, manufacture eyedrops ARE YOU STILL YOU? to what extent do you have to change before you are no longer you? what is the threshold that the sum of changes should reach before you can call yourself someone else? which part of you is unalterable? can changes, once effected, be erased as if they never were? how can you do it? how do you forget completely and mend things perfectly? will it ever be possible to capture a snapshot of yourself at one moment in time - your thoughts, the number of red blood cells in your body, scar tissue to normal skin ratio, the last figure you keyed in an excel spreadsheet, the last kiss you remember, the last person you spoke to, the sweet taste of toothpaste on your lips.

when someone tells you, "i don't know you anymore" or "you're not the person i once knew" it just means they haven't talked to you in so long that the changes are irreconcilable to them, like when your favourite red tshirt which you lent to your friend fades to pink in the back of their wardrobe and when you go over to pick it up you go "that's not my tshirt!' or you have concealed so much of yourself that a sudden letting go of control comes as a huge surprise even to those who have been constantly observing you and thought they knew you.

"why have you changed so much?"
isn't it obvious?

just some thoughts on a sunny afternoon.

also, tralfamadorians.

argh, all depressed after watching the interpreter. loved the scene when keller read the suicide note - the colours were gorgeous.

favourite lines
Broome: I feel disappointment.
Keller: That's a lover's word.

-

Broome: What do you do when you can't sleep?
Keller: I stay awake.

-

Broome: How could you give us so much, then take away more?

-

Zuwanie: The gunfire around us makes it hard to hear. But the human voice is different from other sounds. It can be heard over noises that bury everything else. Even when it's not shouting. Even when it's just a whisper. Even the lowest whisper can be heard - -over armies... when it's telling the truth.

things feel a little broken.

Went to polymath & crust with shao after work today because the wunderkammer exhibit ends this week!

( pictures )

stroopwafel and stroopkoeken




the new smoothie recipe book my sister bought me. the photographs are gorgeous!!


bpal bottle collection so far


presents from ying - azuki candy and a candy skull sticker


cube at work, now with banao, oscar and purikura. the santa thing is from the lovely jonathan.

+ movie at a proper cinema
+ cake
+ fireworks
+ a nice stroll
+ art installations
+ music
+ fire spinners
+ 15 mins of an outdoor movie screening
+ singing random songs i've forgotten the lyrics to into a rolled-up cone while walking to clarke quay

i can't decide: is sarah kane incredibly fucked or fucking incredible? i identify too closely with rod.

1.
Rod:
Listen. I'm saying this once.
I love you now.
I'm with you now.
I'll do my best, moment to moment, not to betray you.
Now.
That's it. No more. Don't make me lie to you.

2.
Hippolytus Fuck someone else imagine it's me. Shouldn't be difficult, everyone looks the same when they come.
Phaedra Not when they burn you.
Hippolytus No one burns me.
Phaedra What about that woman?
silence
Hippolytus looks at her
Hippolytus What?
Phaedra Lena, weren't you-
Hippolytus (Grabs Phaedra by the throat.) Don't ever mention her again.
Don't say her name to me, don't refer to her, don't even think about her, understand? Understand?
Phaedra (Nods.)
Hippolytus No one burns me, no one fucking touches me. So don't try.